You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
