I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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