I wish my penis had an off switch
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Randomize
