I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
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