good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Randomize
