I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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