Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
honey bunches of taint.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Randomize
