i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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