ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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