This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
