She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
