We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize