Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
