So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
