dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
