We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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