she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
