so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Randomize