The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Randomize
