i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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