Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
