Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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