Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
