i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
