She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
