dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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