Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Randomize
