You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
