yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
