His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
