dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Randomize
