OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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