No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
me + whiskey = a bad person
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
