Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
