He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Randomize
