As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Randomize
