Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
