If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I believe in your delicious
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Randomize
