At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
