I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
