Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
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