You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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