2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
