The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
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