he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
