Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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