she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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