He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Randomize
