shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Randomize
