i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
