**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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