and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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